T-46 Days: My Challenge between Health and Desire

Its been over a week since I logged down my thoughts and what I have been going through.

The good stuff first. Things are progressing. I’m starting to go out and secure deals that would make transiting from employment back to self-employment easier.

So the road out will not be all rosy, but its still better than spending 9 hours a day in a doing meaningless things.

I’ve also had a good share of fun over the last weekend, spending the whole weekend out in the middle of the ocean aboard Star Aquarius – taking 4GB of photos and videos. It was supposed to be a company retreat, but I took it as a holiday out with PX.

To be frank, the cruise is DEAD boring. Luckily I got PX to go with me – and that really cheered things up a lot. Next time we shall go for Luxury Cruises – not more boring Star Cruises.

Now the not so good stuff.

For the past week (even aboard the cruise) I didn’t have sufficient sleep. Yesterday my health took its toll from all the late nights. Came in to work half awake and then decided to see the doctor after experiencing pains in the chest and giddiness.

I was considering whether to head to the doc – but after the first few results of Google showed that chest pains are really serious matters, I ran up immediately.

For once, I was really worried that I am going to “KO”. Heh. Luckily, after some tests (including an ECG!) the doc said that my heart is ok. I went home and caught up with my sleep.

Thanks, Google for saving my life giving me 1/2 day MC.

Back to the good stuff.

Of course, I’m okay now. I’m still blogging as a living human now.

46 days more to go – from the way things are, I might have to delay a my resignation plans a little. But there is a terrible burning desire in me to go get done with what I am about to do. We’ll see what happens after the mind power course this weekend. Hope to learn to think better and focus my thoughts better after this weekend.

Its a difficult balance between health (having enough rest everyday) and fulfilling my desires to get the work done. Yesterday, for example, I was supposed to be resting at home when I am on MC. I rested from 3pm to about 9pm, and PX was asking me to go sleep when we chatted at midnight… then I stayed awake until 4am doing up a layout for a website which I am collaborating with another fellow Internet Marketer.

Of course, I know that health is always more important, but that heart-wrenching burn inside is really killing me the same. In fact, as I was resting yesterday after I got home, my mind wasn’t at rest at all. Its an obsession. Heh But its a reminder for me to keep watch.

I’ve re-started my reading of Think and Grow Rich today, and I really do relate to that first chapters on desire.

I really like the statement “If a man repeats a lie over and over, he will eventually accept the lie as truth.”

Meeting up with PX later to go through the photos and videos we took on the cruise, get some stuff done and set some goals for the remaining of the year. Excited to meet PX again.

I’ve mentioned this before – but I’ll mention it again. As much as the circumstances are as it is today, I always have had that quiet little confidence that things will change for the better, and that will come very soon. I’m going to have a great life ahead! Whoooooo hooo!